In the world of style there’s perhaps nothing more disappointing than witnessing a ridiculous trend appear and be adopted by a gullible few, then seeing it quickly vanish only to re-emerge a few months later being sported by practically everyone. It’s particularly distressing when it’s the kind of look that’s so ridiculous that the people who have adopted it because it’s popular are the very same people who would have mocked anyone who sported the look only a few months earlier.
And there is no better example of this than the current bizarre trend for elbow patches. Around May or June last year I noticed someone wearing them and thought it was an odd but isolated case, but then over the next three days I saw another four or five people sporting them around Carnaby Street. But then they disappeared as quickly as they had arrived and I naturally assumed that the people wearing them had realised how ridiculous they looked and destroyed the offending garments.
But a few months later they came back with a vengeance. And this time it was not only the trendies. It was everyone. What was going on? I’d initially wondered if Shoreditch types had misunderstood the humorous intention of the episode of the Mighty Boosh in which Howard launches his very own elbow patch line (The Howard Moon Elite
Elbow Patch Collection, I believe) and taken this to be an indication of where trendy Hoxton fashion was heading, but it soon became apparent it was something bigger and altogether more alarming.
Now, the first thing I have to say about elbow patches is that I’d always assumed they were invented to prolong the life of jackets whose elbows had become worn due to their wearer spending too long using their elbows to prop up binoculars, either due to extensive birdwatching or, as is more likely, as a result of them spending hours using binoculars to spy on their neighbours whilst they got undressed. Other groups who enthusiastically adopted the elbow patch include college lecturers and driving instructors, both groups renowned for largely being made up of middle aged men with an unhealthy interest in teenage girls. Either way, there is no better indicator of a sexual deviant than if they are wearing elbow patches.
The other thing to bear in mind is that elbow patches are a method of repairing old clothing; but if your jacket has holes in it that’s a sign that you should throw it out rather than attempting to plug the hole. If your car had a massive hole in the roof, would you try to attach another piece of metal to it or accept that the scrapyard was calling? Frankly, people who wear elbow patches are no different from those who would repair their glasses using sellotape. So if you wear them you are either someone too poor to afford new clothes or some sort of sex offender. Now, tell me, is that cool?!?!?!
Elbow Patch Collection, I believe) and taken this to be an indication of where trendy Hoxton fashion was heading, but it soon became apparent it was something bigger and altogether more alarming.
Now, the first thing I have to say about elbow patches is that I’d always assumed they were invented to prolong the life of jackets whose elbows had become worn due to their wearer spending too long using their elbows to prop up binoculars, either due to extensive birdwatching or, as is more likely, as a result of them spending hours using binoculars to spy on their neighbours whilst they got undressed. Other groups who enthusiastically adopted the elbow patch include college lecturers and driving instructors, both groups renowned for largely being made up of middle aged men with an unhealthy interest in teenage girls. Either way, there is no better indicator of a sexual deviant than if they are wearing elbow patches.
The other thing to bear in mind is that elbow patches are a method of repairing old clothing; but if your jacket has holes in it that’s a sign that you should throw it out rather than attempting to plug the hole. If your car had a massive hole in the roof, would you try to attach another piece of metal to it or accept that the scrapyard was calling? Frankly, people who wear elbow patches are no different from those who would repair their glasses using sellotape. So if you wear them you are either someone too poor to afford new clothes or some sort of sex offender. Now, tell me, is that cool?!?!?!
