Forget Tinie Tempah and whichever other flash in the pan pop star is currently doing a fashion shoot for a men’s mag: all you need to know about bow ties is encapsulated in the episode of the Inbetweeners where Simon gets a girlfriend, they go shopping together and she somehow convinces him that he would look good kitted out as a sort of day-glo nightmare version of Brains from Thunderbirds, resplendent in purple with a matching bow tie. Even Will, the acknowledged über-nerd of the quartet, does a double take when he sees his friend before pausing for a fraction of a second and, in a tone of deep concern, saying ‘who did this to you?’
So, should you have any pretensions towards wearing a bow tie, in the wholly misplaced belief that it will make you look like some kind of super-cool urbane dandy, simply remember that no matter what y
ou think you may look like, you will look like Simon from the Inbetweeners. If you find yourself in this position, remove the bow tie immediately. Do not return it to the shop. Someone else could buy it. Do not put it in the bin. The binmen may see it. Certainly don’t hide it under your bed. You could die, and somebody could discover it.
Tuxedos naturally require a bow tie, but that is the only time they should ever be worn. Even then it can be controversial as these days cases of tuxedo wearing seem almost entirely confined to stude
nts at their graduation balls thinking that wearing a tux makes them James Bond. Hmm… Which film in the series is it where James Bond gets drunk on five pints of Fosters then throws up on his shoes?
You can probably get away with wearing one if you are a middle aged college lecturer who suspiciously never married. But the only real reason you should contemplate wearing one is because the t-shirt shop has run out of t-shirts that say ‘I AM A PAEDOPHILE’.
ou think you may look like, you will look like Simon from the Inbetweeners. If you find yourself in this position, remove the bow tie immediately. Do not return it to the shop. Someone else could buy it. Do not put it in the bin. The binmen may see it. Certainly don’t hide it under your bed. You could die, and somebody could discover it.
Tuxedos naturally require a bow tie, but that is the only time they should ever be worn. Even then it can be controversial as these days cases of tuxedo wearing seem almost entirely confined to stude
nts at their graduation balls thinking that wearing a tux makes them James Bond. Hmm… Which film in the series is it where James Bond gets drunk on five pints of Fosters then throws up on his shoes?
You can probably get away with wearing one if you are a middle aged college lecturer who suspiciously never married. But the only real reason you should contemplate wearing one is because the t-shirt shop has run out of t-shirts that say ‘I AM A PAEDOPHILE’.
