Some Observations on Fashion Since the Style Vortex Began

Now that the Style Vortex has been casting its critical gaze around the fashion landscape for over a year I thought it might be worth taking stock and raking over previous posts to see if, as it set out to do, the Vortex managed to cut through the grime of the fashion world like some sort of really good metaphorical cleaning product. And, looking back, I’m more than happy to see that the Vortex has remained consistent! Let’s look at a few things…

Where did all the duffel coats go? I can only hope that everyone who bought one read the post (I suppose it could happen) and, stung by the Paddington Bear comparisons, discarded them instantly. I haven’t seen any in charity shops, though, which makes me wonder if people who bought them simply burned them in their gardens to forever rid themselves of their shame.

The bow tie and elbow patches are still occasionally seen, but it looks like they’re near to extinction. Phew! Emergency over.

The Christmas jumper, interestingly enough, stayed around for two seasons. On the one hand I’m disappointed that after we first saw people wearing them in a vaguely ironic way back in Christmas 2011 they were still being worn and written about during Christmas 2012, though I suspect the people who thought they were cool for wearing them in 2011 looked down upon people wearing them in 2012. But the Christmas jumper has certainly travelled a strange path, going from being a stupid thing that no one in their right mind would wear to a stupid thing that trendy people wore to a stupid thing that lots of stupid people wore. But I am proud, and more than a little smug, to say that I have remained untainted and never worn one. At Christmas time I just stick to my Homer Simpson slippers. They’ll always be cool.

And double denim, as I suggested, was proven to work! Back in April I said that, despite it being considered style anathema by so many, I believed it could be successful, perhaps by using darker colours rather than light blue. And by the end of the year it was widely agreed that it could work! It was in the style pages of Men’s Health and everything.

This isn’t all about gloating, though. It’s nice to see that top celebrities have been reading the blog, particularly Paul Weller who has at least now had some decent suits made on Saville Row. He’s still got a stupid haircut, though.

Some Musings on a Visit to Liam Gallagher's Boutique

Whilst the idea of Liam Gallagher designing a line of clothes and being seen as some sort of style icon struck me as being about as appropriate as Wayne Rooney opening an institute for the study of molecular biology (or, indeed, as appropriate as Liam Gallagher opening an institute for the study of molecular biology) I did actually go into his boutique, Pretty Green, once. But with justification: there was an exhibition about the Who’s Quadrophenia taking place downstairs.

But as soon as I’d got in there, I was struck by something profoundly odd: everyone working in there (or at least all the men) seemed to be Liam Gallagher clones; it appeared that the chief requirement of anyone seeking employment there was to already hold him up as the greatest style icon the world has ever known, so monkey-style basin haircuts and predictable mod clothing were the order of the day.

I was quite surprised by this; did Liam really insist that anyone in his shop had to ape his sense of style? Or were they given makeovers upon being recruited? Or was it a ‘Boys from Brazil’ type cloning experiment, where Liam Gallagher had undertaken scientific research (probably with quite a lot of help) to breed a new generation of Mini-Mes to help staff his shop?

Startled, I rushed straight down to the exhibition and although I haven’t been back since I do walk by occasionally. It’s changed now, and there’s a slightly different range of people working in there, not all of whom look like Liam Gallagher. Still, I like the idea of shops where you have to dress or act the same as its founder or designer. For example, Virgin Megastores could have insisted their workers sported a beard and wore a chunky sweater. Or if The Kooples do another collaboration with Pete Doherty they can insist that none of their shop assistants report for work until they’re so drugged up to the eyeballs that they can barely stand.