It’s easy to be cool when you’re
young. In fact, it’s pretty much a requirement that you at least try. After
all, whilst a uniform of Marks and Spencer polyester slacks and nylon shirts is
pretty much de rigeur for men in
their forties and beyond, if you were to dress like that in your teens it would
almost certainly mark you out as someone shaping up to be a sociopathic sexual
deviant and probable future serial killer or, even worse, that you were going
to development an unhealthily prepubescent obsession with politics and become
the new William Hague.
Indeed, there are so many reasons to
at least attempt being cool when you’re young that people are quite right to be
suspicious of anyone who doesn’t: you have more time on your hands, more disposable
income, a peer group to advise you, bands, actors and other figures to take
inspiration from and a whole army of designers and shops aiming things at you.
But what happens when the years have
performed their terrible dance? What exactly is it that causes middle aged
people to stop caring about how they look? Is it the drying up of disposable
income that comes with having a family? The difficulties of buying flattering
clothes as the combination of too many M&S ready meals and not having any
time to exercise mean there aren’t any cool clothes that will fit around your
middle aged spread? Or do middle aged people simply abandon any pretence at
looking good once they realise that, by and large, no one’s going to want to
shag them anymore?
Well, whatever the myriad reasons,
there’s no doubt that clothes designers feel little inclination to make stylish
clothes for anyone beyond their thirties. Once you’ve hit the big 4-0 you’ll
find that any sources of stylish clothes have pretty much dried up and whereas
once you were easily able to wear skinny jeans and slim fit shirts, you enter a
shop to find the only clothes available for someone of your age group are baggy
and amorphous garments designed on the assumption that anyone over the age of
45 will require elasticated trousers and shirts with additional material around
the stomach area. But what options are there for those people who manage to not
only stay in shape as they enter middle age and beyond but also have the
interest and income to attempt to stay stylish?
It’s pretty common to see rock stars
attempt to continue to sport the look they had in their twenties into their
fifties and beyond but I’m not entirely convinced the classic rock star look is
all that dignified when you’re in your twenties, let alone as your approach
pensionable age. Take the Stones, for example. Keith Richards may have cut
quite a figure in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s but let’s not forget that they
once all dressed up as sailors for a video. Mick Jagger deserves our respect
for maintaining a 28-inch waist into his seventies but he’s certainly sported
some odd looks over the years. And in recent photos the band looked like they’d
been styled by someone who was expecting to be working with a band in their
twenties but decided to use the same clothes anyway; the end result was vaguely
reminiscent of an episode of Dr Who where the Master used an artificial ageing
ray (or something) on the Doctor, causing him to shrivel up into a Gollum-type
creature whilst still wearing his usual clothes. Just because you can fit into
skinny jeans and fitted jackets when you’re seventy it doesn’t mean you should.
Fortunately, there are ways to remain
stylish into old age and, happily, it’s a path that’s been trodden by several
rock stars, with the most notable example being Leonard Cohen. Even if he wore
nothing but clothes made out of bin liners, Cohen would qualify as being
especially cool because of his work and unique career path: a poet and novelist
who didn’t even release his first album until he was 33, and made successful
comebacks in his fifties and seventies. (And, of course – OMG! – the X-Factor
covered one of his songs! OMG! Etc…)
In fact, Leonard Cohen pretty much
wrote the rules on being cool in middle and old age. And there’s only really
one rule: well-fitting suits. You’d think that was obvious, but try telling
that to the ageing rockers you see wearing snakeskin trousers and sparkly
jackets. I was very young when Cohen’s comeback album I’m Your Man came out but
couldn’t help but notice how cool he looked on the cover: understated shades,
pinstripe suit worn with a t-shirt underneath and slicked back hair. And he was
eating a banana, just to add humility to the whole get up. And he’s pretty much
stuck with that since, albeit with the addition of a hat in recent years. But
not a top hat with sharks’ teeth on it or anything like that; trilbies and
fedoras, as befitting a man of his years. To be fair, his look was always
pretty sharp; but it works, and has now become a kind of uniform for ageing
literary rock star types (more recently with Nick Cave).
To be fair to the Stones, Keith
Richards has managed to carve out a look that retains his outlaw rock and
roller status without making him look like an idiot, but Mick Jagger seems to
have adopted the Elton John method of throwing everything against the wall of
style and hoping something sticks (witness his recent sparkly jacket and tie
combo at their O2 gigs). Charlie Watts, by contrast, has done the opposite,
going the way of Leonard Cohen and creating a constant, understated and
dignified look based on well-tailored suits (even if he did also wear a sailor
suit in that video). Neither Keef nor Charlie’s looks seem to have rubbed off
on Mick, though. So next time you see him gurning and grinding onstage like a
great-great-grandfather at a wedding, resplendent in spray-on silver trousers,
a see through vest, a sequinned jacket and a leopard print hat, just remember: there
are alternatives…
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