I’m
not sure why it took me so long to notice the creeping prevalence of young men
wearing flat caps on the streets of trendy London Town; indeed, I think it must
be that so many recent trends – bow ties, elbow patches, tweed jackets – seemed
to be borrowed from the Olden Days that my conscious brain eventually became
too horrified to register anyone it noticed wearing them and I began to
subconsciously block them from my vision, so when the time came that the same
offenders decided to go full out and dress like old men by adding a flat cap
into the mix I no longer noticed.
It’s
not as if the act of a young person wearing a flat cap is even that new,
though. I do believe one of the egregious characters in the Shoreditch satire
Nathan Barley wore one when that show was on back in 2005 so I assume that real
life Hoxtonites were also wearing them at the time (quite possibly thinking
they were being incredibly groundbreaking in doing do yet somehow neglecting to
take into consideration that they had previously been worn by, I don’t know,
every man who was alive in the 1920s and 1930s?).
Hats
are always a bit controversial in this day and age. You can try a baseball cap
but whilst you might think it makes you look like a hardcore gangsta rapper
from da hood it’s also a strong possibility that it will make you look like a
twat who lives with his mum. Or you could try one of those Pete Doherty hats,
which you might think makes you look like someone who lives the edgy and carefree
existence of a bohemian symbolist poet on the fringes of society, caring
nothing for the petty mores of the world and living only for art and freedom but
will more than likely make you look like a twat who lives with his mum. I did
see a man wearing a top hat the other day, which I supposed earned him some
points for originality. And it didn’t give me any clues as to whether or not he
lived with his mum.
But
anyway, I can’t see any justification why anyone would wear a flat cap unless
they were in their eighties. My reasons are thus:
1) You
will look like an old man. Remember the Top of the Pops performance featuring
Dad’s Army’s Clive Dunn performing Grandad We Love You? Well, you probably
don’t because that would make you pretty old, but it’s on Youtube. And you know
how you see archive footage from the 1920s and it’s full of men wearing flat
caps and smoking Woodbines? Plus Victor Meldrew used to wear one. And he’s an
old man. And, yes, I know Brad Pitt has been seen wearing one recently but he’s
nearly fifty so that hardly disproves my point, does it? Also, Brian Johnson of
AC/DC also wears one but, once again, he is old. So, to clarify, my point is
that flat caps should only be worn by old men.
2) Actually,
that’s the only reason.
Wow, after reading through your blog I have come to the conclusion that you must be a complete and utter sociopath. Giving constant negatives on what 'other men should wear, but at no time bothering to point out any positive or practical aspects of clothing. Its like the whole blog is just one big rant, designed to offend or upset anyone who may come across it. Who cares what other people choose to wear, you don't have to wear it, do you? It must be a 'London thing'. You'll be chasing vicars down the street next, ranting at them to remove the cross from around their necks because it may offend, or god forbid, make them look like a 'twat'. Oh and I am sorry but anyone who refers to a Trilby as 'one of those Pete Doherty hats' should, in the future stay well clear of writing any form of article regarding headgear.
ReplyDeleteThis is idiotic, why should the fact that old people wear those hats make them anything bad. What do you have against old people? If wearing the same as an old person is a problem to you, you should start wearing nothing at all. Because there are alot of elderly people out there, and i bet they have worn just about any clothing.
ReplyDeletePeople who judge other people because of the clothes they wear, are just retarded. End of story.
ReplyDeleteWhy then, aren't you a bit of a cunt yourself there? Any attempt to dress like a fecking adult ought to be applauded. Sure there's loads of twats in flat caps but that certainly wouldn't make me a twat myself, and I've a fair five of them. I've a bowler as well. And I wears a waist-coat and cravat, every day. You could cite your twats in London for doing it wrong, but there's fuck-all wrong with a flat cap or well tied bow tie. Good day to you.
ReplyDeleteI rather like the flat cap which the young fellow in the picture above is wearing. It's very tidy and makes him look smartly dressed and mature, not trendy and not old. I have a few of them, one of which I've been wearing for at least fifteen years. I should like to have one like this. The search begins.
ReplyDelete